While living in Japan I find that I constantly worry about age because that’s the talk everywhere you go. There’s all these society inflicted rules, like a woman shouldn’t wear certain colours or certain type of clothes after a certain age. Or the constant joking if you are a woman who isn’t married by the time you’re 30.
But there’s also one’s own expectations of what life should look like as an adult of 30 and over, probably should have a career with a good pay check, a husband, kids, a house and all those things adults are supposed to have. So, there are days where it gets to be too much pressure and you give in and start feeling like a useless pile of cow poo and nothing can make you feel good about your life no matter how wonderful it really is. No matter how much you love your side of the fence on these weak moments of doubt, the grass is just greener on the other side of the fence.
What you need on those times, or at least what makes me feel a better is to remind yourself how many wonderful things I have going on for myself, make a list. And if that fails, it’s good to watch some flicks that show others misery and others successes.
The Lifeguard (2013)
Kristen Bell plays the part of a 29-year-old girl who has some serious doubts about her life situation (her job and dead-end relationship) so she goes back home and takes her high school job as a lifeguard. I don’t want to spoil it so I will just say that when she came back she stirred quite some serious problems in the lives of those who lived in that town.
Ok, so the protagonist in this movie is actually 29, not 30 but it was actually, it was when I was 29 that I started to ponder on my life and freak out that I hadn’t achieved anything I wanted by this age. I still haven’t figured my life out and I’m still in the process of finding out. The movie doesn’t really end with her finally figuring her life out but rather she just makes some improvements and keeps on going which is all we can really do in real life. Just keep going.
Bad moms (2016)
Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryin Hahn play the role of 3 moms who struggle to keep their careers and family life “perfect”. Until they finally snap and go wild.
Obviously, I am not a mother yet nor do I even think that I’m close to becoming one any time in the foreseeable future but, I think that if I were a mom I would be like these moms. I always want to work even if I have children, because first, in this day an age one pay check is barely even enough to support one person, and second because I like having a job, I enjoy it too much to see myself giving it up.
So, I think it’s so important for women nowadays to find a good balance between work life and family life and not feel guilty about it. Our generation is different from those before us so we are not being “bad” we are just adjusting to our times.
Reese Witherspoon plays Sheryl Strayed who after losing her mother and going through a divorce begins to spiral out of control and self-destruct but then she decides to go and hike the Pacific Crest Trail to find herself again.
There are so many different kinds of lives out there in the world and this movie just made me feel a bit better because there are also so many kinds of solutions as well. If what one needs in order to get herself together is to hike 1600 kilometres then that is perfect. There’s no guilt or shame in doing something different than everyone. Each person, each woman is unique. So, whenever I feel guilty of going on yet another trip abroad then I will remember this movie.
Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
Renee Zellweger plays 32-year old Bridget Jones who decides to keep a diary to start taking control of her life. And that is when she starts dating 2 amazing guys which spice her diary up but force her to decide which one is better suited for her.
I love this movie because even though it’s comedy and fiction, it is so real sometimes. Once upon a time I used to think women who weren’t in serious relationships in their 30s must have a serious problem, maybe a shitty personality or something like that. Now I know better.
Life happens, sometimes you focus more on your career or travel too much or just simply haven’t found someone worthy of your time. And then sometime just like it happened to Bridget Jones life throws you really good choices all at the same time and you have to make the tough decision of choosing what is best for you. Why is it that the biggest decisions in life usually come in groups at the same time?
Mata Hari (1931)
I’m currently a bit obsessed with Mata Hari and her interesting story and what I admire about her is her confidence in herself and her beauty. A bit of her story which I will summarize is that she married an alcoholic abusive husband when she was 19 and finally escaped from him 9 years later. 28 years old and with no money and no where to go she went to Paris and began working as an exotic dancer becoming famous for it and later became a spy during world war 1 which later cost her life.
Now this is why I really admire her, ok don’t judge me but some people may think that exotic dancing is something to look down on, prostitution and blah blah blah. But I think it’s just a form of art which happens to take a lot of courage to do. And she had that courage at age 28. This was kind of mind opening to me because all my life I’ve been living with this imaginary deadline, this belief that a woman stops being pretty and desirable after 30, this belief that if a man has the choice between a 20s something and a woman over 30 he will for sure choose the younger model. But here is Mata Hari beginning her life as an exotic dancer at 28 working through her 30s and she became famous and performed everywhere in her time. I think it takes so much courage to say, Hey I’m almost 30 but I’m still hot and beautiful and I am going to use that to make myself successful.
Maybe I won’t be starting a career as an exotic dancer but I also won’t put myself down and think any less of myself because age which is sometimes a hard thing to do especially living in Japan where the age of a woman is everything.
Do you have any movies that make you feel good? Please recommend them to me in the comments below. Thanks!